February 2012
10 posts
1 tag
“If you want to climb a wall, throw your cap over it first.”
– JFK
2 tags
3 tags
You can follow me on Pinterest now! →
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People who hate hipsters are the new hipsters.
Me: It's like have these parents ever been to school before? When we're there ever breaks in the middle of class?
Mom: Yeah! When we fell asleep we got slapped. I was spanked everyday in Texas History.
Me: Yeah but that's different, you were being sexually harassed.
January 2012
14 posts
Mikey: Hey that’s the quarterback of my football team!
Matt: Hey you wanna go have sex with him?
Mikey: No! I don’t even like him! I hate him!
Matt: You wrote a paper about him…
Mikey: We’ll what was I supposed to write it about!
1 tag
mrgolightly:
lermaggins:
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███ ██ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is █████ ████...
“Yeah, I saw that on Tumblr.”
– Everyone, Everywhere
FREE IDEAS!
Shit Girls Don’t Say! Shit Girls Say to Cats! Shit Girls Say To Dudes They Like But Don’t “Like!” Shit Girls Say at Outback! Shit Girls Say When Their Periods Late! Sayings Girls Shit!!
Don’t ever try to write a screenplay with your cats. They don’t even know whats going on!
I'm scared at how willing I am to get in a car...
December 2011
15 posts
cannibalhymn:
Comes and Goes (In Waves) - Greg...
2 tags
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-18) →
Joanna Newsom (16)
Alan Menken (10)
Bon Iver (4)
Burke Moses, Kenny Raskin, Linda Talcott, Paige Price, Sarah Solie Shannon, Susan Egan & Townspeople - Beauty and the Beast (1)
4 tags
Jesus Walks (Kanye West cover) - Josh Osho
liberacesgreatesthits
Customer: You're being really rude
Me: Yeah
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“I’ll have a Wet Pussy but not the real kind because that’s gross.”
I only use my credit card for emergencies…and any other time.
I like the concept of salt & pepper chips more...
5 tags
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-11-27) →
Louis C.K. (23)
Dane Cook (15)
Childish Gambino (12)
Lady Gaga (2)
Michael Ian Black & Tom Cavanagh (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
November 2011
36 posts
I don't like the person I become when I'm on the...
Sometimes it's really hard being better than...
My thanksgiving meal was vodka and a dinner roll.
“Men are more like Microsoft: They’ll just make a fake version of what that...”
– Louis C.K.: The Next Steve Jobs Will Be A Chick | Fast Company
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“You don’t know what kind of dick and balls you’re going to get until...”
How many pudding cups can I eat in one sitting...
(Please don’t say 6!)
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Also, we saved a box of abandoned puppies today.
When should I be expecting my Nobel Peace Prize?